Crying down Highway 237..

This morning I packed the kids in the car to head to Thursday morning work shop at church. Thursday morning workshop is a group of ladies young and older who gather as a supportive bunch to talk and chat while working on various crafts. We happen to be in high gear getting ready for the Annual Craft Fair we host every October to raise funds for the United Methodist Women. I enjoy going every Thursday with the kids because it's a chance for me to sit and chat with my Aunt and Grandmothers, and all of the other women I have to come to know in my lifetime of growing up at FUMC. So this morning I packed the diaper bag, made sure I had three diapers for each kid, re-stocked the Marine corps cami print diaper wipes case, threw in a couple Gerber Grabbers for Emma's lunch, prepared a bottle for later, grabbed leftover mac n cheese for Hunter's lunch, his water, changes of clothes for each kid, my phone, car keys, and buckled the kids in their car seats. The drive to Sunnyvale from Fremont is about 30 mins, and I usually play "Elmo Song" or "More Elmo song!" for Hunter since that's all he ever asks for, but today he asked for "Mommy's song!" So I put the CD I own of my songs I have written and recorded over the past 7 years. Each song has a very special meaning to me, and was inspired by events in my life, or emotions I went through at a season of my youth and because I attribute emotion with music, hearing songs again usually bring up the emotions I felt at the time of writing them.

A song I wrote after my brother's return from Iraq came on. That song is extremely emotional for me because it is a mourning for the small child like innocent brother I knew growing up as I see this new war hardened man before me. I was immersed in the song as I drove down 237 when I heard Hunter AND Emma chiming into my consciousness like little bells.. They were singing whole heartedly and with abandon to my song...MY song! My children....little beings that I created with my husband in love were now enjoying and singing a song that was already very emotional for me, but now this new layer of JOY was painted over this song of grief that I had written many years ago. It was poetic and beautiful and I wept as I drove down the highway. I wept because I was so happy to see my children enjoying something that meant so much to me, and because of the new memory I could tie to that song.