Making Friends

I don't know why I am having a hard time making friends being back in Sunnyvale. My entire life, I have always been the outgoing child. I made friends at our camp sites, parks, first days of school. Even my teacher's comments to my parents were that I was "very social'. For some reason, I am having a very hard time connecting with fellow women. When Jason and I were living in 29 Palms on the Marine Corps Base..I had MANY good friends. Lisa, Lori, Mary, Rachel, Reshea, Alicia, Brittany, Whitney, Jamie, and other neighbors that I actually wanted to hang out with. A few of these ladies I even opened up about some serious feelings with. I MISS that.. Yes I talk to my husband about my feelings, but there is nothing like a fellow woman to talk about womanly emotional things to. I want a best friend again. I have had some close friends though out the years. Middle school best friends Brandi and Vanessa and Nicole... my High school best friends, Amanda, Crystal, Maria and Loretta...and my LA best friends Heather and Katarina and Noreen... But we have all gone our separate ways and I MISS having someone that close.

I have met some women at church and they are wonderful! But I am going to be extremely open and honest when I say that I am not connecting with them because I am jealous of them. Its something I am working on with myself. I am jealous of the fact that they are married to their husbands in the Temple, that they have the Priesthood in their home, that they can go to their Husbands with Spiritual crisis..and I cant do that. I cant go to the Temple with my husband and enjoy the amazing experience of it all with him and that makes it hard for me to enjoy the Temple sometimes..makes it hard to be at church sometimes. But I go. I bring Hunter with me every Sunday and we sit with the Butlers, and I keep thinking to myself, this is only going to get harder when I have more children. Bringing two small children to church by myself wont be easy...but it will be worth it, and I keep reminding myself what I am doing for their spiritual futures. The jealousy thing is just going to have to be something I work on. I have to remember that LDS couples have issues too.. They aren't perfect. No one is.

Maybe waiting for the right Best Friend is like waiting for the right Husband. God will put them in my life in His time.

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Hunter Bear

Well its certainly been a while since I posted on here. Hunter is now 6 months and 16 days. :) Its hard to believe how fast time is going!! He is sitting up, reaching for toys, and people and babbling away. He has made lunges to crawl, although he hasn't quite gotten the knee and feet movement down yet. I am LOVING being a mother. It is truly a God given blessing and my calling in life. I feel more complete now..although i know Heavenly Father has more children in store for us down the road. Its a little scary sometimes how dependent Hunter is on me, but at the same time I am elated with the responsibility. Jason has proven himself an amazing father. I love watching him with Hunter. He is the only one who can get Hunter to belly laugh as soon as he walks in the door. Hunter adores his daddy, but its mommy who brings the comfort in the evenings as he gets tired. He reaches for me and then snuggles in for the night. I love it.



Well Jason has been working for Bloom Energy as a Welder. He's doing TIG welding and he really enjoys it. He is almost off of his probationary period when he will start getting his welder's pay. THAT will be nice. We will have a much more comfortable budget at that point. I am teaching Reading at Bishop Elementary School in Sunnyvale and I can't believe I am getting paid to have so much fun! I love my job. I only have to work 2 hours a day and then I can come home and be with Hunter for the rest of the day. Its perfect.

Lately I have been complaining a lot about things in my life being "up in the air." There was a time recently that Jason seriously considered and even tried to re-enlist into the Marine Corps. I have NO problems with that at all, in fact our lives would be a lot more secure if he did, but the most important thing to me is that HE is happy doing whatever it is he decides. After the loss of a dear friend's husband who was Jason's Staff Sergeant.. the motivation ot get back in and go over there was strong. But time and time again Jason would think about how hard it would be to leave Hunter and I. How dangerous it is over there and those emotions battled with his desire to be with his men. For now, he will remain at Bloom Energy and I at Bishop. We are looking at apartments in the area to rent, and save some money to buy a house. I think Jason's drive to get back in the Marine Corps will have strong moments and not so strong moments. I know he misses 3/4 and the guys who were in it with him at that time.. I know if he went back now, it would be different. We shall see. For now, we are enjoying Sunnyvale CA and our family here around us. We plan on flying back to MN for Thanksgiving to see Jason's family and I honestly can't wait!!! I miss them all so much. Especially all my nieces and nephews. :(

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Finished the Nursery!!

Here are pictures of Hunter's Nursery and the Bassinet Jason set up for him today.

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The Home Stretch..

Well here I am at 36 weeks and 5 days. Technically I will be full term this Tuesday, but I highly DOUBT Hunter will come that early. I just need him to hang in there until Feb 21st or so. Once my mom has safely landed in Minneapolis he is more than welcome to head into the world. Haha..get it? HEAD into the world. Sorry.. really awful pun.

So the closer I get to labor, and the more intense these Braxton Hicks get, the more I'm thinking about my "Birth Plan". I didnt even know I was supposed to have one until I started reading all these books about women giving birth and sticking to their "Birth Plan." I was pretty sure Birth was the one thing you COULDN'T plan honestly. I guess its called that in order to give us freaked out moms a sense of control over our situation. So my "Birth Plan" is as follows...

• Go to the Hospital
• Avoid Pitocin at all costs
• Lots of walking and sitting in the bath
• Really hoping to go natural, but not leaving the option of an Epidural out.
• Planning on having only Jason and my Mama and Steve in the room when I am in transitional labor.

So thats the "plan." We'll see how well my body decides to follow it. We already have the crib set up, the clothes are washed, the car seat is in the truck. We're pretty much good to go. I have one more baby shower on the 19th here in MN. I am so excited for it! My sister in laws are throwing it for me. It was seriously so sweet of them to offer to throw it for me.  A lot of the women from Relief Society are going to be there. I get a final count tomorrow at church so I can tell my sister how many to expect. I'm going to post pictures of Hunter's Nursery tomorrow. :) Better go to bed if I want to be up in time for Sacrament Meeting. Night all!

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