My son has Tourettes Syndrome.

This past week my son turned 4. He was also officially diagnosed with Tourettes. Why am I choosing to write about this so publicly? I think the main reason I do it is to protect my son. I feel that by making those I know aware of his Tourettes, it protects him from any embarrassment or misunderstandings. He has "Tics" that he does, that he NEEDS to do. Its like when you have an itch, and you can't NOT scratch it. He can't prevent his tic-ing.

Tourettes Syndrome:Tourette syndrome (also called Tourette's syndrome, Tourette's disorder, Gilles de la Tourette syndrome, GTS or, more commonly, simply Tourette's or TS) is an inherited neuropsychiatric disorder with onset in childhood, characterized by multiple physical (motor) tics and at least one vocal (phonic) tic. These tics characteristically wax and wane, can be suppressed temporarily, and are preceded by a premonitory urge. Tourette's is defined as part of a spectrum of tic disorders, which includes provisional, transient and persistent (chronic) tics.

Hunter has had several tics that have changed over time. Wiping his mouth repeatedly to the point of drying out, coughing even while eating, hard eye blinking, and most recently he clicks the back of his throat but sometimes it gets so bad that he stops breathing so that he can do it. 

I'm not writing this to draw attention to or to dramatize anything, this is something he will struggle with. I want to normalize it for him, to not allow it to fall into the shadows and never talked about. I want those who know and love him to know he isn't being naughty or misbehaving. His actions are not preventable. I'm hoping to learn different techniques for how to discipline him as he also has high anxiety and possibly OCD. He strives on routine. I sometimes feel exhausted trying to monitor and make sure that his triggers are avoided so that we can avoid a tantrum. I try not to hover while he plays but I always feel ready to swoop in and explain why he's freaking out about one thing or another to the other child's parent. I'm still learning about this...and I'm just asking for some patience and support from my friends and family as we figure this all out. I'm hoping that if we are all aware of what he's dealing with, that we can all find loving ways to help him. 

To read more on Tourettes:
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tourette/detail_tourette.htm

Please watch this too...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPmpIY7XJVE

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The Ladies of Thursday

Ever since I was little, the "Ladies of Thursday" would meet in the Johnson-Shaner room at the United Methodist Church in my hometown. These ladies would meet every Thursday morning until 2pm and I would play with the toys in the toy cupboard while they worked on quilts, flower arrangements, paintings, knitting, and any other craft they had brought with them to work on. My brother would bring his legos or Star Wars toys and I would bring my Barbies and we played for hours with our church friends while our mothers and Grandmothers chatted and worked.

20 years later, and I am now the mother sitting at the table and crafting with my mother and grandmothers. My children now play at the feet of this tribe of supportive women, while we come together to support each other through losses of husbands, jobs, letting our children go to college, arguments with our spouses, family, rejoicing in new children and grandchildren, and the selecting of colors when it's time to paint the house. We value each other's opinions, and support each other through years of life experience. It's become our community of mothers who do more than just sew and hot glue, we love, and we nurture, and we scold, and we grow together. I look forward to "Workshop" every Thursday. It's my net of women who know exactly why I'm exhausted. They know exactly why I'm happy and sad because they have been with me every step of the way. This is my village. It takes them all.

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Letters from War

Jason and I were married on Aug 22nd, 2009. 2 months after we were married, Jason and his infantry unit in the Marine Corps deployed to Afghanistan for a 9 month deployment. On the night before Jason deployed, I found out I was pregnant. I remember coming out of the bathroom in our hotel room at the Best Western, and just stared at Jason laying on the bed. He was leaving the next morning, and he was leaving as a father and a husband. On the Marine corps birthday I found out that we lost our baby. I was devastated, but the Marine Corps allowed my husband to come be with me as the emotional toll on us both was pretty intense. After his emergency leave, he went back, and he was helicoptered into a "shit-storm" the news kept calling "Operation Angry Cobra." I dropped him off at the airport, turned on the news, and knew it would be weeks before I heard anything from him. Sometimes when a Marine or Soldier deploys they are in whats called a FOB (Forward Operating Base), and there they have computers and phones where Marines and Soldiers can call home or video chat. Other times they are sent to small encampments where the only line of communication is snail mail (letters), or the occasional Satellite phone when a drop was made of food and supplies. Jason was in the latter. It was then that these letters would come. Its was like hearing an echo of his voice that I knew was spoken weeks before I heard it. Sometimes it would take 2 weeks for me to get a letter, and I wondered what has happened with him in the meantime.

Today I pulled out those letter as I do every now and then, and I let myself feel again. I read our words to each other and I feel it all over again, the fear..oh God the fear, the longing for him to be home, the desire to relate every small detail of my day, even the mundane as a man in war strives on the mundane. It brings him home. I read how we spoke to each other after only a few months of marriage, the endearing words, the promises and the dreams. How we dreamed of a family, and where we would live. My letters still smelled weakly of the perfume I would drench the paper in and I imagined how Jason's nose must have grazed the paper to smell it amidst the dust and dirt and blood of war.

I tied my letters back up again, and hugged the me that echoed around me from 2009. Sometimes I think back at it all and say "How did I do that? How did we get through that really difficult time in our lives?" and the answer is always "We just did....one day at a time." I think it's good to reflect back with a removed observance. It's not healthy to dwell, but to taste those feelings again so I never forget, is like stepping back into a dream where I know the ending, but I can still experience those feelings again.

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