I don't know why I am having a hard time making friends being back in Sunnyvale. My entire life, I have always been the outgoing child. I made friends at our camp sites, parks, first days of school. Even my teacher's comments to my parents were that I was "very social'. For some reason, I am having a very hard time connecting with fellow women. When Jason and I were living in 29 Palms on the Marine Corps Base..I had MANY good friends. Lisa, Lori, Mary, Rachel, Reshea, Alicia, Brittany, Whitney, Jamie, and other neighbors that I actually wanted to hang out with. A few of these ladies I even opened up about some serious feelings with. I MISS that.. Yes I talk to my husband about my feelings, but there is nothing like a fellow woman to talk about womanly emotional things to. I want a best friend again. I have had some close friends though out the years. Middle school best friends Brandi and Vanessa and Nicole... my High school best friends, Amanda, Crystal, Maria and Loretta...and my LA best friends Heather and Katarina and Noreen... But we have all gone our separate ways and I MISS having someone that close.
I have met some women at church and they are wonderful! But I am going to be extremely open and honest when I say that I am not connecting with them because I am jealous of them. Its something I am working on with myself. I am jealous of the fact that they are married to their husbands in the Temple, that they have the Priesthood in their home, that they can go to their Husbands with Spiritual crisis..and I cant do that. I cant go to the Temple with my husband and enjoy the amazing experience of it all with him and that makes it hard for me to enjoy the Temple sometimes..makes it hard to be at church sometimes. But I go. I bring Hunter with me every Sunday and we sit with the Butlers, and I keep thinking to myself, this is only going to get harder when I have more children. Bringing two small children to church by myself wont be easy...but it will be worth it, and I keep reminding myself what I am doing for their spiritual futures. The jealousy thing is just going to have to be something I work on. I have to remember that LDS couples have issues too.. They aren't perfect. No one is.
Maybe waiting for the right Best Friend is like waiting for the right Husband. God will put them in my life in His time.
I have met some women at church and they are wonderful! But I am going to be extremely open and honest when I say that I am not connecting with them because I am jealous of them. Its something I am working on with myself. I am jealous of the fact that they are married to their husbands in the Temple, that they have the Priesthood in their home, that they can go to their Husbands with Spiritual crisis..and I cant do that. I cant go to the Temple with my husband and enjoy the amazing experience of it all with him and that makes it hard for me to enjoy the Temple sometimes..makes it hard to be at church sometimes. But I go. I bring Hunter with me every Sunday and we sit with the Butlers, and I keep thinking to myself, this is only going to get harder when I have more children. Bringing two small children to church by myself wont be easy...but it will be worth it, and I keep reminding myself what I am doing for their spiritual futures. The jealousy thing is just going to have to be something I work on. I have to remember that LDS couples have issues too.. They aren't perfect. No one is.
Maybe waiting for the right Best Friend is like waiting for the right Husband. God will put them in my life in His time.
