4 amazing years...

The 21st of this month marks Jason and my 4 year anniversary. It has been a crazy rough and tumble 4 years that have brought us stronger in our love and given us two beautiful children.

Let me give my readers a very quick overview of our marriage so far..

Jason and I met in 2007, when he and my brother were in the Marine Corps together as roommates. It started out very casual. We were both with other people at the time, so we were just friends, maybe with some flirting here and there. There were a lot of "Say Hi to your sister for me!"s while I was on the phone with my brother. When Jason and Andrew came home from Iraq, I was at the homecoming. We walked to the barracks with my brother to unload his bags and out stumbles my future husband, at 9am, with a bud light in his hand. "CORINNE!!! Its JASON!" I raised an eyebrow at his swaying figure. He was in blue jeans and no shirt, his feet were bare. The man was obviously enjoying his homecoming celebration with his buddies and I laughed before he said "Oestreich!" Ooohhh Jason Oestreich.. that's right. Hi. He said "Nice to see you!" and then walked back into his room. Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time to that very moment so I can whisper in my ear "THERE STANDS YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND!" hahaha!

A couple boyfriends, and a broken engagement later, Jason and I realized that we wanted to be more than friends. When my ex and I broke up, Jason swooped in and was everything my ex was not. We dated for 2 months and Jason proposed to me. Some would say that the way he proposed to me was not "Romantic", it  wasn't "Marry Me" written in the sand on a beach, and it wasn't a treasure hunt into the woods to a candle lit cabin. It was REAL, and it was romantic to me. :) We were staying at the Motel 6 during one of my visit to 29 palms, and he had lit the room with white tea lights. I opened the door and was so surprised. He had red wine, and we poured them with smiles on our faces into the plastic cups the hotel provides. We made love, and I walked into the bathroom. When I came out, I found Jason on one knee with a diamond ring in his hand. He smiled and said "Corinne Patricia? Will you marry me?" and I giggled like a silly girl and said yes!! :) It is one of my favorite memories of Jason. We tease each other about that night sometimes because when we say it out loud it sounds ridiculous, engaged in a Motel 6 with plastic wine cups... but it was so so romantic.

We married in my parents garden in their back yard in a very private ceremony and even attached a webcam so that Jason's family in MN could see the ceremony. My very best friend Jeff Decker was there, along with the rest of my family.

 

Our first year of marriage was spent mostly separated. Jason was in Afghanistan and I spent my time gathering furniture for our first house on base in 29 palms. In the following years we really worked on our communication skills and also on our compromise. I learned to compromise for him, and he learned to compromise for me. We learned what a true apology was and how to allow yourself to be wrong. We have two amazing children, and now we are excited to spend our first night together away from our children. My mom will be watching the kids overnight. (I can't tell you how excited I am to be able to turn off my mommy ears and actually slip into a deep sleep!) 

We are staying at the Hilton Garden Hotel and eating at a very nice Steakhouse called Alexander's Steakhouse. SOOOO excited!!!!!!

Today I got my anniversary gift in the mail. It was in a large box from one of my favorite gift stores!! Red Envelope...

 

I couldnt wait to open in and when I did, I knew my husband had surpassed expectations. He didnt just get a piece of jewelry (though I would NEVER complain about that hehe) be got us a personalized picnic backpack that comes with all the utensils and plates and even a wine cooling side sack!!! I can bring my chilled Moscato on our picnic hike!! I couldn't believe it! Jason is so gosh darned romantic, it makes my tummy bubbly and happy!  All that being said, Happy 4 years to my incredible amazing, loving, selfless husband. I love you Jason. 

 

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Faith and God as I see them..

After many years of spiritual growth and learning I have come to a very comfortable and pleasant understanding of God, and Faith in general that I would like to share.

I believe that we existed before we came to earth as souls. I believe that as souls, we were intelligent beings who interacted and decided to come to earth to further our knowledge and experience. I feel that before we came to earth we decided certain challenges for ourselves that we believed could help us to learn or overcome those challenges. Every challenge in our life, be it the loss of a child, or husband, or the struggle with addiction, or mental illness or even something as simple as body image are all challenges we decided to put ourselves through on this earth. We decided who we wanted to be our family, and our support system in the spiritual world to guide us. I believe that we might have come to earth more than once, (this explains in my eyes why there are 9 year olds more mature than some 30 year olds I know.) I believe that God is neither male nor female. That God is ALL loving. That God loves EVERYONE...this includes murderers, rapists, and thieves. We are ALL God's children, and how could a loving parent ever shun or disgrace their child? I believe that all souls, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Jew, Atheist, will all be together again after death. That our intelligence will only be furthered and our understanding of a bigger picture will come in the next life.

I have a belief in Jesus Christ, as a human. I believe him to be imperfect on this earth, to have suffered loss and felt pain. I believe he is the son of God, and that he was sent to this earth to pay the debt of his brother and sisters sins. I am a sinner. I am imperfect.

I believe that God gave me a brain to think and question for myself what is and what is not true in this world. I do not believe in one true church over all the others. I believe there is good in every religion and I pull from each religion what my soul understands to be true. I have a strong belief in Karma, in that what good you put in this world will be reciprocated to you if not in this life, in the next. I believe that that good will only be valid if done from a loving place in your heart. (ie: bringing cookies to a homeless shelter with a snarky sneer on your face as you judge them for their life's decisions will not count.)

I'm not trying to preach to anyone, I am simply writing out my own beliefs as I have come to understand and feel them in my heart. I strive to act in love towards EVERY person I meet. As Christ says in Matthew 25:40....

 "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

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Loving him because he is imperfect.

The other day I posted a status on Facebook about my husband Jason. It read as follows..

"I am so incredibly lucky to have Jason Oestreich as my husband. I NEVER have to ask him to wash dishes, or take out the trash, because he does it before I even notice it needs to be cleaned. He is supportive, loving, hilarious, and now more than ever we have our communication skills honed. He even takes the kids in the early morning so I can sleep in a few hours extra after being up with them at night, and he does this almost every morning. He texts me all day just to ask how we are doing at home, and encourages me to go out with friends. You guys.. I am SO incredibly blessed. I just can't love him enough.. I am so lucky."

It is so incredible to me as each day goes by how I am falling in love with my husband all over again. I've decided that love is cyclical, flowing in the shape of a spiral. There are times when it twists up, when I hug him a little tighter, for no reason, or smell him and don't want to say good bye as he leaves for work, and then there are times when it tips down, where I am so busy that I hardly have time to put his needs on my brain. But I continue to love him.  

Today he picked up an order from Chipotle for us to eat for lunch and as I rattled off how I wanted my burrito bowl, he laughed and went to get a pen and paper. "Your orders are always so complicated!" he said. I recoiled, no they're not! I fed the kids, and began cleaning the house and he came home at 1:30pm, just enough time to drop off my food, give Hunter and Emma a kiss goodbye (me too) and leave for work. I sat down after feeding Emma to eat my own lunch and realized he got the wrong salsa. (Gah! Seriously?! He wrote it down!) Then my brain went "Whoa.... slow down hormonal crazy person... not only did he get you an awesome lunch.. he also put three things on it that you FORGOT to tell him you wanted..eh? You wanna try and calm down now?? Seriously.. just be glad he wasn't here for this ridiculous display of ungratefulness." Thanks brain.. thanks for the reality check.  I am constantly catching myself complaining in my thoughts about stupid little things that are NOT EVEN CLOSE to being worth complaining about. 

I am finding that I love him more intensely, more completely today than I loved him on our wedding day. Seeing him as a father, and as a provider is the sexiest thing I have ever seen on him. Oh that and blue jeans and no shirt...wow! Hahahaha ok... I'll stop.

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My American Idol experience

I wasn't going to audition. In fact I had always swore never to audition for American Idol because I thought it was a joke. If I was going to become a singer as my career I was going to pursue it the right way, not through reality TV. This year Jason convinced me (took him 4 years before he pulled the "do it for our family" card.) to audition. I decided to sing Hell on Heels by the Pistol Annies. Registration Day was Monday (yesterday), and I got there at 5am. They divided us into sections and we all sat around. I stood next to a very nice hippie girl why had dread locks, and a Ukulele singing a song she wrote about murdering her love's gf so he could love her. (Uhhhh.) the cameras where everywhere. It instantly reminded me of LA again. The camera men were shallow attention seekers. "What's your sob story?" "Who traveled the farthest?!" "Hey give us a preview of your audition song!" Then when the person sang and most of the time, sounded ill prepared, they salivated at the mouth. "Yessss! The reality TV jackpot." It was hard for me to step out of my comfort zone. I would have needed to be quirky, or traveled from a far away place in order to get them to interview me, and I was NOT about to make a fool of myself on television. I stood quietly with an entertained smile while 4 times the people I was talking with we're pulled away for camera interviews. I wasn't discouraged, it was reality TV. I was there to sing, and I was beginning to understand that would be my downfall.

Audition day came an they corralled us into the front area of AT&T park. I met a lively mother an daughter from Minneapolis MN and honestly connected more with the mother. They filmed us screaming and yelling in excitement to Ryan Seacrest with his "THIS...is American Idol." Speech. Then they funneled us into the stands. I sat beside a girl who knew my family in Fallon NV, and talked about them for a while (small world), an then we all stood in a long line on the field, waiting to approach a booth to sing for two producers. Over the day, veteran auditioners mentioned that certain booths were looking for certain contestants to pass through. Some booths were looking for real singers, some were looking for train wrecks that would make good TV, some were automatically passing those that had already been interviewed by a camera. I approached the booth with my three other group members and we listened to the group in front of us finish. Singer1 was amazing, singer 2 was even better, 3 and 4 were terrible. I knew in my head, they're gunna cut 3 and 4 for sure. They ended up cutting 1 and 2!!! I realized, oh no..I'm at the train wreck booth. They're only gunna pass people who make entertaining dramatic reality television!! I relaxed inside, saying to myself "oh well, sing it out and give it your all! Give this songs glory to God." So I did. I sang my heart out and it was probably the best audition I've ever had. I was confident, my notes were spot on, and the SF police officers standing behind my table stopped their conversation to watch me and bob their heads, then clap. I felt awesome. I knew I did well, but I knew what was coming. I could tell as they discussed behind their clip boards that it was coming. They called the three of us up, who sang great, and said "Thank you for your audition, you are all talented but not what we are looking for in contestants at this time." And there it was.. My audition. I was so proud of myself! I didn't pass the first audition but I knew that it wasn't because my singing was terrible. I could see the LA/Hollywood process of it all. I didn't miss that from living in LA. 

It was so much fun, but now that its over I can really focus on getting excited for my upcoming surrogacy!! I have a couple that I am 90% sure I will be working with who are Dutch Indonesian!! I'm super excited to meet them and begin the next exciting chapter of my amazing life.   

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Washing windows and falling in love.

When I was young my family took me on lots of road trips. We would drive to Yellowstone, from PA to CA, Canada, and to Fallon NV every summer. We drove thousands and thousands of miles, and during those trips our windshield would get very very dirty. When we stopped for gas, as we often needed to, my Grandpa or my father would step out of the car, and pay for gas. He would stand beside the pump as it began to fill our car with the steam we needed to get us the next 300 or so miles. I remember sitting in the back seat of the car, sometimes sweaty from being awoken from a nap by the sudden lack of movement, and seeing my father grab the squeegee from the soapy water they provide, and wash the bugs off the windshield while the gas filled our car. It was a careful meticulous act. Taking more time to scrub at the bugs, and only reaching halfway across the windshield. Then he would flip it over and draw the rubber across the glass revealing a clean and glistening windshield. I always felt hypnotized while I watched him do this.. I watched him walk around and finish the other side, and sometimes he would wash the back windows, making silly faces at me while I pretended to point out spots he missed. (Classic, I always did it, and he always acted as if I were hilarious for pretending to point out his missed spots.) The act of cleaning our windows was something I attached to my love for my father and Grandpa. They cleaned the windows without being asked because it needed to be done to keep the family in the car safe. 

When Jason and I got married, we piled all of my stuff into the back of his truck, and drove from Sunnyvale CA to Twentynine Palms. I was nervous, we had never lived together, were driving to a military base where we would be staying with friends until he deployed to Afghanistan, and I was now a WIFE! Our truck was pretty gross when we reached a gas station outside of LA. I had my bare feet up on the dashboard and the windows down. (The AC was broken.) Jason stepped out of the truck and paid for the gas, he placed the pump into the gas tank and headed for the squeegee. I smiled to myself. He began to squeegee the windshield, take extra time with the bugs he found, and then flipped the squeegee over to drag the rubber across the glass. I smiled so widely as I let this new moment seep into my memory. He was washing our windshield, without having been asked, because he cared about me in his truck. I giggled as I pointed out places he missed with my toes.

For me, washing the windshield of the car will always mean "I love you". I thought of that today as Jason pumped our gas on our way to Roaring Camp to see the trains. I thought of how much I loved him the day we drove down to Twenty Nine palms, and the many times he had cleaned our windshield since. I cherish those moments, when I remember the love and peace of the simple act as acted by my dad and grandpa, and how I now love my husband as he cleans our windows.. So silly, but love is silly isn't it?

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My amazing little family.

Lately I have been taking the time to observe and truly appreciate my family. When I was 16 years old, I used to lay in my bed and dream about who my future husband would be. I have always had a thing for blonde haired blue eyed white boys.. haha. All my crushes in Elementary School and High School were blonde. I imagined my husband would be as well. Then I would dream about my children I would have. Would I have one? Two? More? How about a house? Where would I live? What car would I be driving?

Its so weird to think that all of those questions have been answered! I have a blonde haired blue eyed AMAZING husband, and two beautiful children. A girl and a boy. We have three vehicles, and a three bedroom house. My son is hilarious. I absolutely love watching him grow. He recently began giving his toys personalities as he plays. That to me is so fascinating! My daughter just started on solid foods, and I am weaning her off of nursing as I am going to be pregnant again soon as a surrogate. My life is so wonderful. I have never been so happy. My marriage is better than ever, and my relationship with my children gets more and more fun every day.

I am truly blessed.

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Started a Surrogacy blog

Please check out my new surrogacy blog! I am very excited to share this experience with friends and family.

http://iamjustthemessenger.blogspot.com/

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