I find that this is the easiest time to dwell on all that went wrong in 2014. Its when I find myself looking back on the year and picking out all of the struggles which memory can amplify. So for every struggle I list an achievement, or joyous moment for the year in my head so I don't allow myself to dwell too much on hard times that have past.
I'm not saying I'm an expert at this by any means. But here's a practice run for ya..
I am listing all of the amazing things that were accomplished this year...
1)I became pregnant as a surrogate mother for a friend.
http://iamjustthemessenger.blogspot.com
2) Emma had her first birthday!
3) Hunter turned 3!
4) Jason worked extremely hard full time, as well as passed all of his years classes as a full time student.
5) We visited family in Minnesota!
6) I delivered baby Alaya healthfully into this world and into her parents arms.
7) I spoke publicly on Surrogacy and was able to educate others on the journey.
8) I was able to participate in an "Indigenous Rising" protest in Humboldt at the injustice of firing the Native American student representative Dr. Jaquelyn Boleman.
9) On my birthday I was ceremoniously awarded my first feather that I am allowed to wear in my hair and display for my acts of extreme generosity in surrogacy.
10) My photography took an artistic turn with my awesome "Bearded Man" project. Introducing me to the bearded Movement society.
11) I was able to enjoy Disneyland with my children, mother in law, husband, and parents as a celebration of the completion of my surrogacy.
12) I continue to be floored by the amount of people who seek me out as a source of information and comfort on the surrogacy front. I receive contact from women and men all over the world with questions and I am blessed to be able to answer all of them.
13) I had the amazing opportunity to participate in the 4th Trimester Bodies Project. It was incredibly empowering, and helped me embrace my post-childbirth body.
And now...I will take a moment to honor my years struggles..but not dwell on them.
1) Our landlord raised our monthly rent by $300 so that our rent is now 2550 a month. (Yes you read that correctly.)
2) I have still been unable to find full time work in order to help my husband with financial needs.
3) Jason's company begins a strike as of this coming week which is likely to force us out of our home. This comes after his company cut their hourly pay by 15$ an hour.
And I am so lucky that those 3 things are the only negative parts to this year for me.
I sincerely hope 2015 will bring me employment in the surrogacy arena, and stability for my family..and maybe even to be a surrogate again! Jason and I are extremely lucky to have friends and family who support and love us as we continue to enjoy life!
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